The purpose of my blogs are to help others, if I can help one person through any of my messages then I have succeeded in one of my life goals.
in reference to: Blogger: Dashboard (view on Google Sidewiki)Sunday, 21 February 2010
Monday, 15 February 2010
How to Survive the New Terror at Work - The Workplace Bully
Thousands of children are terrified to go to school because of a bully. Have you ever wondered what happened to the bully in your school? Well, that schoolyard bully grew up, got a job, and is now a workplace bully. She still uses threats, ridicule, and a negative disposition to terrorize those around her.
Workplace bullying is aggressive or unreasonable behavior designed to negatively impact or destroy a coworker. Workplace bullies can be managers, coworkers, subordinates and even clients. Workplace bullies are insecure people who attempt to mask their insecurities with control and domination. The target usually provides insight into the bully. Bullies often target people they envy, people who have the traits and talents the bully wishes she possessed. The bully attempts to destroy the more skilled and more talented individual to feel more secure in her employment. According to the Workplace Bullying Institute, the following are the most common tactics used by workplace bullies:
Falsely criticizing the target's work quality.
Staring, glaring, nonverbally intimidating, and showing hostility.
Discounting the targets thoughts or feelings.
Sabotaging or interfering with the target's ability to work.
Ridiculing, undermining, screaming, and yelling at the target.
Nitpicking and paying attention to unimportant details.
Constantly reminding the target of mistakes.
Threatening the target's job, reputation, or work status.
Abusing the evaluation process by lying about the target's performance.
Declaring the target "insubordinate" for failing to follow arbitrary commands.
Assigning the target undesirable work as punishment.
Creating unrealistic deadlines, duties, and work demands.
Encouraging the target to quit or transfer or face more mistreatment.
Ensuring failure of the target's project by not performing required tasks, such as sign-offs, taking calls, working with collaborators.
Many employees do not report the workplace bully for fear that the behavior will worsen or they will lose their jobs. But, ignoring the behavior will not solve the problem. "Bullies don't reform - ever," says Bruce Taylor, owner and principle of Unison Coaching. "They may hide the bullying for a while, or they move on to another victim, but they won't stop bullying." Bullies enjoy bullying. Bullying is a personality trait which the bully has sharpened for years. It is her way of life now. The workplace bullying usually does not stop until the targeted employee resigns or is terminated. Gary Namie, a psychology professor at Western Washington University, says that "once the bullying starts, most can only stay 16.5 months because it costs them their health." You can handle workplace bullying in the following ways:
1. You must perform your job well and make sure that others know you are performing your job well. Workplace bullying takes a tremendous emotional toll on the target. If that emotional toll causes your performance to deteriorate, then the bully's baseless accusations of poor performance can turn into warranted accusations of poor performance. You cannot defeat a workplace bully if you are not performing your job well.
2. You should not internalize the bully's attacks. Workplace bullies constantly criticize, ridicule, and disparage their target. That can beat the target down and cause the target to believe that the bully's negative statements are true. The target must reject those lies.
3. You should gather your witnesses, coworkers, and friends for your defense. It is fantastic if you have individuals who can support your allegations. However, since 72% of bullies are bosses, there may not be anyone who will support you. Coworkers are rarely willing to take a stand against a boss, especially a bully boss.
4. You should avoid private interactions with the bully. Some bullies recognize that their behavior is inappropriate and refrain from treating you badly in front of others. If your workplace bully only mistreats you in private then avoid private interactions. Also, there will be witnesses who can attest to the bully's behavior if the interactions are not private.
5. You should document the bully's behavior. Your allegations will be taken more seriously when they are presented factually and not emotionally. You remove your allegations from the emotional realm when you approach your employer with fully documented facts, i.e., names, dates, witnesses, and details.
6. You should consider filing an internal complaint against the bully. You need to make someone else in your company aware of how you are being treated. You should make the complaint to Human Resources, a high ranking company official, or someone identified in the company's complaint procedure.
7. You should consider looking for a new job. Workplace bullying typically ends with the employee's resignation or termination. According to the Workplace Bullying Institute, "more than 80 percent of those bullied lose their jobs." You should consider looking for a job so that you can leave on your terms.
8. You should consider filing an external complaint against your employer and/or the bully. Sixty-two percent of employers ignore complaints of workplace bullying. That means that your help will likely come from an individual or entity outside of your company.
Workplace bullying is four times more prevalent than illegal harassment. Yet, employers ignore most complaints of workplace bullying, telling the victim to "work it out" with the bully. The employers who react in that way do not appreciate the financial cost of workplace bullying and are relying on the fact that workplace bullying is not illegal. There are 16 States that are considering "healthy workplace" laws prohibiting workplace bullying but, to date, no State has made workplace bullying illegal. So, you should avoid describing your situation as workplace bullying. Instead, you should use terms the law recognizes such as harassment, discrimination, and hostile work environment. If your physical characteristics or those of your harasser make it difficult for you to make a viable harassment, discrimination, or hostile work environment claim then you should talk in terms of torts such as assault, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and tortious interference with employment. The Indiana Supreme Court recently decided Raess v. Doescher, a case many are calling the first workplace bullying case. In the Raess case, Joseph Doescher sued a surgeon who treated him poorly at work. The Indiana Supreme Court stated in its written opinion that "workplace bullying could be considered a form of intentional infliction of emotional distress." And, the jury awarded Doescher $325,000 on his assault claim. There are legal causes of action which reach workplace bullying. You should use those legal terms and not "workplace bullying" when speaking to your employer.
Legal risk is not the only risk workplace bullying poses to companies. Workplace bullying presents significant financial costs to companies with respect to productivity, operating cost, and work quality. A University of North Carolina workplace bullying study found that 28% of targets lost work time avoiding the bully, 22% of targets decreased their work effort, and 12% of targets changed jobs to avoid the bully. Health care costs also rise as the target's stress becomes a sickness or illness that requires medical treatment, sick leave, or FMLA leave. If the targeted employee resigns or is terminated, the company will incur significant costs in hiring and training a replacement and loss of company wisdom and experience. Human resources experts estimate that replacing an employee costs a company two to three times the lost employee's salary. There is also the time and expense of handling internal employee complaints about the behavior. So, you should not discuss emotions or moral impropriety when you complain about workplace bullying. You should speak a language your employer will pay attention to and understand . . . legal and financial risk.
Shalanda Ballard is an employment defense attorney who has practiced in all facets of employment litigation. Ms. Ballard was named in the National Register's Who's Who and in Law & Politics Magazine as a Rising Star. She has spoken at continuing legal education conferences and employment law seminars. Ms. Ballard writes an Employee Rights blog at http://www.employeerightsblog.net.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shalanda_Ballard
Workplace bullying is aggressive or unreasonable behavior designed to negatively impact or destroy a coworker. Workplace bullies can be managers, coworkers, subordinates and even clients. Workplace bullies are insecure people who attempt to mask their insecurities with control and domination. The target usually provides insight into the bully. Bullies often target people they envy, people who have the traits and talents the bully wishes she possessed. The bully attempts to destroy the more skilled and more talented individual to feel more secure in her employment. According to the Workplace Bullying Institute, the following are the most common tactics used by workplace bullies:
Falsely criticizing the target's work quality.
Staring, glaring, nonverbally intimidating, and showing hostility.
Discounting the targets thoughts or feelings.
Sabotaging or interfering with the target's ability to work.
Ridiculing, undermining, screaming, and yelling at the target.
Nitpicking and paying attention to unimportant details.
Constantly reminding the target of mistakes.
Threatening the target's job, reputation, or work status.
Abusing the evaluation process by lying about the target's performance.
Declaring the target "insubordinate" for failing to follow arbitrary commands.
Assigning the target undesirable work as punishment.
Creating unrealistic deadlines, duties, and work demands.
Encouraging the target to quit or transfer or face more mistreatment.
Ensuring failure of the target's project by not performing required tasks, such as sign-offs, taking calls, working with collaborators.
Many employees do not report the workplace bully for fear that the behavior will worsen or they will lose their jobs. But, ignoring the behavior will not solve the problem. "Bullies don't reform - ever," says Bruce Taylor, owner and principle of Unison Coaching. "They may hide the bullying for a while, or they move on to another victim, but they won't stop bullying." Bullies enjoy bullying. Bullying is a personality trait which the bully has sharpened for years. It is her way of life now. The workplace bullying usually does not stop until the targeted employee resigns or is terminated. Gary Namie, a psychology professor at Western Washington University, says that "once the bullying starts, most can only stay 16.5 months because it costs them their health." You can handle workplace bullying in the following ways:
1. You must perform your job well and make sure that others know you are performing your job well. Workplace bullying takes a tremendous emotional toll on the target. If that emotional toll causes your performance to deteriorate, then the bully's baseless accusations of poor performance can turn into warranted accusations of poor performance. You cannot defeat a workplace bully if you are not performing your job well.
2. You should not internalize the bully's attacks. Workplace bullies constantly criticize, ridicule, and disparage their target. That can beat the target down and cause the target to believe that the bully's negative statements are true. The target must reject those lies.
3. You should gather your witnesses, coworkers, and friends for your defense. It is fantastic if you have individuals who can support your allegations. However, since 72% of bullies are bosses, there may not be anyone who will support you. Coworkers are rarely willing to take a stand against a boss, especially a bully boss.
4. You should avoid private interactions with the bully. Some bullies recognize that their behavior is inappropriate and refrain from treating you badly in front of others. If your workplace bully only mistreats you in private then avoid private interactions. Also, there will be witnesses who can attest to the bully's behavior if the interactions are not private.
5. You should document the bully's behavior. Your allegations will be taken more seriously when they are presented factually and not emotionally. You remove your allegations from the emotional realm when you approach your employer with fully documented facts, i.e., names, dates, witnesses, and details.
6. You should consider filing an internal complaint against the bully. You need to make someone else in your company aware of how you are being treated. You should make the complaint to Human Resources, a high ranking company official, or someone identified in the company's complaint procedure.
7. You should consider looking for a new job. Workplace bullying typically ends with the employee's resignation or termination. According to the Workplace Bullying Institute, "more than 80 percent of those bullied lose their jobs." You should consider looking for a job so that you can leave on your terms.
8. You should consider filing an external complaint against your employer and/or the bully. Sixty-two percent of employers ignore complaints of workplace bullying. That means that your help will likely come from an individual or entity outside of your company.
Workplace bullying is four times more prevalent than illegal harassment. Yet, employers ignore most complaints of workplace bullying, telling the victim to "work it out" with the bully. The employers who react in that way do not appreciate the financial cost of workplace bullying and are relying on the fact that workplace bullying is not illegal. There are 16 States that are considering "healthy workplace" laws prohibiting workplace bullying but, to date, no State has made workplace bullying illegal. So, you should avoid describing your situation as workplace bullying. Instead, you should use terms the law recognizes such as harassment, discrimination, and hostile work environment. If your physical characteristics or those of your harasser make it difficult for you to make a viable harassment, discrimination, or hostile work environment claim then you should talk in terms of torts such as assault, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and tortious interference with employment. The Indiana Supreme Court recently decided Raess v. Doescher, a case many are calling the first workplace bullying case. In the Raess case, Joseph Doescher sued a surgeon who treated him poorly at work. The Indiana Supreme Court stated in its written opinion that "workplace bullying could be considered a form of intentional infliction of emotional distress." And, the jury awarded Doescher $325,000 on his assault claim. There are legal causes of action which reach workplace bullying. You should use those legal terms and not "workplace bullying" when speaking to your employer.
Legal risk is not the only risk workplace bullying poses to companies. Workplace bullying presents significant financial costs to companies with respect to productivity, operating cost, and work quality. A University of North Carolina workplace bullying study found that 28% of targets lost work time avoiding the bully, 22% of targets decreased their work effort, and 12% of targets changed jobs to avoid the bully. Health care costs also rise as the target's stress becomes a sickness or illness that requires medical treatment, sick leave, or FMLA leave. If the targeted employee resigns or is terminated, the company will incur significant costs in hiring and training a replacement and loss of company wisdom and experience. Human resources experts estimate that replacing an employee costs a company two to three times the lost employee's salary. There is also the time and expense of handling internal employee complaints about the behavior. So, you should not discuss emotions or moral impropriety when you complain about workplace bullying. You should speak a language your employer will pay attention to and understand . . . legal and financial risk.
Shalanda Ballard is an employment defense attorney who has practiced in all facets of employment litigation. Ms. Ballard was named in the National Register's Who's Who and in Law & Politics Magazine as a Rising Star. She has spoken at continuing legal education conferences and employment law seminars. Ms. Ballard writes an Employee Rights blog at http://www.employeerightsblog.net.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shalanda_Ballard
Wednesday, 10 February 2010
Victim of Bullies
What you can do to help:
If you do determine that your child is a , here are some tips:
1. Listen to your child. Take all complaints seriously, and listen supportively. By the time your child tells you about being bullied, the problem has likely been going on for some time.
2. Take action yourself:
• If the bullying is occurring at school, report it to the principal, giving as much specific detail as you can.
• Contact the parents of the youngster whom your child identifies as a bully. Don’t assume that the parents will dismiss your call. Most parents are unaware that their child is bullying others, and, upon hearing the news, do want the bullying to stop.
• Many schools now have bully-prevention and intervention programs, where faculty and staff have been trained to manage bullying on campus. Check with your school district to see if they have such a program.
3. Encourage your child to take action
• Urge your child to report future incidences of bullying, regardless of any threats that the bully might make.
• Teach your child to address the bully in a self-assured, controlled manner. Role-play with your child assertiveness skills such as walking with confidence, looking someone in the eye, and saying authoritatively, “Stop that right now.”
4. What not to do
• Don’t encourage your child to “hit him back.” That will make things much worse, especially if the bully intimidates others into ganging up on your child.
• Don’t advise your child to avoid making the bully mad. That will only increase your child’s anxiety, and not prevent the bullying. Most bullying attacks are unprovoked, such that the bully will invent an excuse if necessary.
If the above steps don’t seem to work within a few weeks, consult a psychologist for professional help immediately, before things get worse.
Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. is a psychologist and life coach in Camp Hill, PA, with over 30 years' experience, and author of "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior."
Contact Dr. Wallin to learn how coaching for yourself can help you help your child. http://drwallin.com email: drwallin@drwallin.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pauline_Wallin,_Ph.D.
If you do determine that your child is a , here are some tips:
1. Listen to your child. Take all complaints seriously, and listen supportively. By the time your child tells you about being bullied, the problem has likely been going on for some time.
2. Take action yourself:
• If the bullying is occurring at school, report it to the principal, giving as much specific detail as you can.
• Contact the parents of the youngster whom your child identifies as a bully. Don’t assume that the parents will dismiss your call. Most parents are unaware that their child is bullying others, and, upon hearing the news, do want the bullying to stop.
• Many schools now have bully-prevention and intervention programs, where faculty and staff have been trained to manage bullying on campus. Check with your school district to see if they have such a program.
3. Encourage your child to take action
• Urge your child to report future incidences of bullying, regardless of any threats that the bully might make.
• Teach your child to address the bully in a self-assured, controlled manner. Role-play with your child assertiveness skills such as walking with confidence, looking someone in the eye, and saying authoritatively, “Stop that right now.”
4. What not to do
• Don’t encourage your child to “hit him back.” That will make things much worse, especially if the bully intimidates others into ganging up on your child.
• Don’t advise your child to avoid making the bully mad. That will only increase your child’s anxiety, and not prevent the bullying. Most bullying attacks are unprovoked, such that the bully will invent an excuse if necessary.
If the above steps don’t seem to work within a few weeks, consult a psychologist for professional help immediately, before things get worse.
Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. is a psychologist and life coach in Camp Hill, PA, with over 30 years' experience, and author of "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior."
Contact Dr. Wallin to learn how coaching for yourself can help you help your child. http://drwallin.com email: drwallin@drwallin.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pauline_Wallin,_Ph.D.
Saturday, 6 February 2010
What Is Bullying?
Bullying is such a frightening experience for anyone, imagine how a child feels when being bullied.
There are so many avenues now for bullies to target thier victims;social networking sites,text,email, school.
Most people know that bullying involves physical or emotional abuse of someone by another person who is more powerful.
That person may be stronger physically or emotionally or have a position which gives them the opportunity to dominate the victim.
A bully is not interested in a physical or mental contest. A bully acts against someone that they believe cannot or will not be able to stop them doing whatever they want to.
Bullies can make repeated attacks and demands on their victims but even a single incident can be harmful to the person that is targeted.
Bullying usually occurs when the bully tries to demonstrate that they or their group are superior in some way to the person they victimize.
They look for a target that is likely to offer little resistance and to react in a way which will make the bully feel superior.
Bullies often browse the school playground near the beginning of the year, looking for potential victims.
Most bullies seek to feed their own ego, some seek power over the victim to get them to do their bidding and a dangerous few actually enjoy hurting their victims.
But, all bullying in whatever form can and usually does inflict damage which can affect the victim and also sometimes those close to them for years.
Bullies may approach their victims in any part of the school, even in areas where adults may be present. But, most attacks occur when adults are not about.
There are so many avenues now for bullies to target thier victims;social networking sites,text,email, school.
Most people know that bullying involves physical or emotional abuse of someone by another person who is more powerful.
That person may be stronger physically or emotionally or have a position which gives them the opportunity to dominate the victim.
A bully is not interested in a physical or mental contest. A bully acts against someone that they believe cannot or will not be able to stop them doing whatever they want to.
Bullies can make repeated attacks and demands on their victims but even a single incident can be harmful to the person that is targeted.
Bullying usually occurs when the bully tries to demonstrate that they or their group are superior in some way to the person they victimize.
They look for a target that is likely to offer little resistance and to react in a way which will make the bully feel superior.
Bullies often browse the school playground near the beginning of the year, looking for potential victims.
Most bullies seek to feed their own ego, some seek power over the victim to get them to do their bidding and a dangerous few actually enjoy hurting their victims.
But, all bullying in whatever form can and usually does inflict damage which can affect the victim and also sometimes those close to them for years.
Bullies may approach their victims in any part of the school, even in areas where adults may be present. But, most attacks occur when adults are not about.
Wednesday, 3 February 2010
How to Stop Bullying A Parents Guide
No one wants to see their child
injured whether it's physical or
emotional.
It's a sad testimony that hundreds
of instances of intimidation against
children take place arounds the
world every day.
We do our best to protect our
children but this is one area where
we may not even be aware of the
problem.
Children are often too embarrassed
to tell their parents. Or they just
lack the confidence.
A groundbreaking new guide that
paves the way for parents to
discern and help their children
with this problem is currently
sweeping the Internet.
Find out more about this timely
new tool at:
http://www.bullying.clareandjohnstewart.com
injured whether it's physical or
emotional.
It's a sad testimony that hundreds
of instances of intimidation against
children take place arounds the
world every day.
We do our best to protect our
children but this is one area where
we may not even be aware of the
problem.
Children are often too embarrassed
to tell their parents. Or they just
lack the confidence.
A groundbreaking new guide that
paves the way for parents to
discern and help their children
with this problem is currently
sweeping the Internet.
Find out more about this timely
new tool at:
http://www.bullying.clareandjohnstewart.com
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