Victim of Bullies

What you can do to help:

If you do determine that your child is a , here are some tips:

1. Listen to your child. Take all complaints seriously, and listen supportively. By the time your child tells you about being bullied, the problem has likely been going on for some time.

2. Take action yourself:
• If the bullying is occurring at school, report it to the principal, giving as much specific detail as you can.
• Contact the parents of the youngster whom your child identifies as a bully. Don’t assume that the parents will dismiss your call. Most parents are unaware that their child is bullying others, and, upon hearing the news, do want the bullying to stop.
• Many schools now have bully-prevention and intervention programs, where faculty and staff have been trained to manage bullying on campus. Check with your school district to see if they have such a program.

3. Encourage your child to take action

• Urge your child to report future incidences of bullying, regardless of any threats that the bully might make.

• Teach your child to address the bully in a self-assured, controlled manner. Role-play with your child assertiveness skills such as walking with confidence, looking someone in the eye, and saying authoritatively, “Stop that right now.”

4. What not to do

• Don’t encourage your child to “hit him back.” That will make things much worse, especially if the bully intimidates others into ganging up on your child.

• Don’t advise your child to avoid making the bully mad. That will only increase your child’s anxiety, and not prevent the bullying. Most bullying attacks are unprovoked, such that the bully will invent an excuse if necessary.

If the above steps don’t seem to work within a few weeks, consult a psychologist for professional help immediately, before things get worse.

Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. is a psychologist and life coach in Camp Hill, PA, with over 30 years' experience, and author of "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior."

Contact Dr. Wallin to learn how coaching for yourself can help you help your child. http://drwallin.com email: drwallin@drwallin.com

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